The Coven
by Avendesade
Summary: Twilight retold primarily from Edward's perspective, looking at what it means to be a vampire who falls in love with a human. An exploration into the dynamics of a vampire family led by a religious Patriarch, and a look at their individual and collective struggles with immortality. There will be themes of discipline in various forms and some corporal punishment.


"Carlisle, I simply can't do it today. It's unbearable to be there, knowing what I know, pretending I haven't been around _a hundred years_... listening to all their inane chatter and pretending that I don't despise everyone in the room."

I, Edward Cullen, born a mortal in 1901 and an immortal 17 years later, was referring of course to high school, a haven for some and a hell for others. For me it was quite literally the latter, and I reminded myself every day that I deserved this judgement, soulless creature that I am. I did my best to bear my lot, but my desire for relief sometimes overpowered my desire to atone for my existence. It was on those days that I would break down and burden Carlisle with my protests and pleas that he might give in and spare me having to perform the charade for one day.

In reality, as the adult that I was despite the appearance of my eternally 17 year old body, I knew that I could skip school if I really wanted to. Although Carlisle was my father in public and my guardian of sorts, I maintained the autonomy that comes with being 108 years old. Carlisle was the leader of my coven, my family of fellow vampires, and he held authority over all of us, but it was an authority we entrusted to him, easily able to act on our own when we felt compelled to.

There might be consequences for doing so, we all understood, and as our unwritten code of ethics demanded, we'd submit to them if our leader thought they were warranted, but it was always our choice to do so. That's what being in a coven meant, giving to each other, for each other, and respecting the leader's authority. So here I was, making my case to the person I trusted most with my life, ready to obey his command even if I hated it, one of the few virtues I can aspire to in this cursed existence.

Carlisle's face remained stern, but I, thanks to my unique "gift" of mind reading, knew that he had softened a little bit with sympathy for my plight. "Edward," he spoke my name with an authority marked by kindness. "You pretended to be ill just last week. It's too soon to use that excuse again."

"Well maybe we can add 'chronic illness' to my vampire-pretending-to-be-human profile," I quipped with sarcasm. Just a little sarcasm though; I was hopeful.

Carlisle was not affected by my tone. "You and I both know that won't cure what's really ailing you," he replied. "You must look for your empathy, Edward. They are just children. It's natural that their thoughts should be filled with the things that concern them, and their minds only be as learned as time allows. You mustn't let your knowledge tempt you into pride. Were you so different as a mortal?"

I let out a long sigh. He was right of course, but knowing that it was natural for highschoolers to act (and think) the way they did, did not make it any easier to be around them. As I stood in front of Carlisle, I could see myself his mind. He was studying my tension and frustration, wondering if I were losing my sense of humanity, the sense that kept me from feeding on the children even though it was in my physical nature to do so. "I won't slaughter innocents out of frustration, Carlisle. You know that," I assured.

"I know," he said quickly, banishing the thought, but I always knew there was a fear deep down. "Edward, I really think you should go to school today. I want you to go and work on these negative feelings. I can't force you, but I'll be very disappointed if you don't."

"And by 'disappointed' you mean you'll be the guardian of my car for a while," I said lightly. He was planning a consequence in his mind if I decided to put up a fight. He smiled at me then, glad I understood without him having to verbally issue a threat.

I sighed again. "Carlisle, if it's really so important, then of course I'll go. I haven't lost my compassion, though it's tested every moment I am there. I'll take it as an exercise today, rather than a bane, and I have the motivation if not _disappointing_ you."

Carlisle gripped my arm and pulled me to himself in an embrace. It was paternal and full of love, and it seemed to fill me with strength. That was Carlisle's gift as a vampire, the word _gift_ here being literal; he can share it with others. As a human he had desired mercy and love, and these traits, being amplified as a vampire, made his compassion unending.

It was much easier to strive for goodness when I felt how much my effort pleased Carlisle, so I set out to obey him by joining my "siblings" to school. I didn't yet know that what struggle was in store for me today would make all I had felt before pale in comparison. I didn't know that the object of this struggle would change my life forever.

I believed, of course, in a higher power, and it was my knowledge of God that often plagued me. The knowledge that my Creator had not only made me a monster, but made me aware of it. I was as a demon, never able to be close to the light, but always to feel its presence. Angels and demons, humans and vampires, all are victims of God's design, the elements that fate works to arrange in a structure only God can see the whole of. I imagine that Fate laughed at me today, the victim of a hundred years of sorrow. Today I would face my future, and through her... I would be saved.


End file.
